I need help!!

So mindfulness has proved a really useful adjunct to my daily life and indeed at times has really helped with the demands of work and life itself. Yet, its been a struggle at times to realise its benefits when I am not the most consistent of people. I have found breathing spaces absolutely invaluable and cues in my day like waiting for Tubes and green men (at traffic lights, not from space!) to show to allow me to cross the road have been really good to assist the "cracks" in the day to stop and pause.
I have decided now that its time to undergo a formal training course and I intend to start in a few weeks time a 8 week course here in sunny Bridgend.
I will be posting the process and am really keen to see how it will boost my practice and enable me to find the integration I need.
Due to a variety of factors I started my day today with a Breathing Space and it took me 30 minutes to find the peace to consistently note my breathing. I think that shows how I need to practice more and how everyday life and mental "chatter" can be so intrusive and toxic to what we need.
So a possible new direction and further being explored , so more to write soon.

Week four of Mindfulness training 6/9/13

The observant among you will have seen there is a huge gap in the posting sequence. I am afraid that my annual leave and a return to a busy work schedule has knocked some of this off course. Now that shouldn't have happened and I guess if you value something (or indeed someone) then that's a pretty lame excuse.
However, all is not lost in the world of mindfulness training. I can sense that some learning has occurred and the practice of meditation is really a way or indeed a path to greater awareness of the moment.
I am using a audio recording to practice and it commences with a gentle sounding bell to denote the commencement and the closure of the session.
In the book you are urged to find "bells" in your everyday life that can signal brief moments of clarity and mindfulness. One that it suggests is that of the red man at road crossings when you are walking. It gives you approximately two minutes to note your current situation and root yourself in your breathing
So if you are in London and see a man calmly standing at a red signal despite every one else dashing across then that will probably be me!

Mindfulness Week 3 : 22/7/13

There's much to write about in mental health services at the moment , but with your patience I am going to continue to consider the issue of Mindfulness and my on going practice. It has been really hard to build a sense of discipline into this area of my life and I guess discipline is not a virtue I possess but am keen to develop. It really is striking what can get in the way when you have to find all of 8 minutes for a meditation exercise. I recall clearly when I have had the task of writing or even the dreaded marking when a lecturer.
It was surprising then how much time I could waste on walking from room to room , or tasks that needed doing suddenly seemed urgent. I found myself engaged in any distracting behaviour rather than get marking that pile of dissertations.
In many ways this is similar , there are lots of reasons why I should do other things rather than pay attention to the needs of practice. Yet I persist, and have found real moments of calm and quiet. If we wait for the world we live in to be like that , then we can wait a very long time!
I have found one of the most revealing issues to be the constant chatter of internal dialogue that demands attention but which can be really fruitless, at worst this seems to take the form of ruminating and can be tiring. Yet a simple attentive episode of "noticing" can be so restorative, it seems to have the capacity to introduce actual choice as to the significance of what we experience.
I have found the exercises related to listening quite revealing (although dominated by the local jackdaws) , as they clearly point towards the listening we can undertake to internal thought "chatter" and whether choose to do more than notice its presence.
So yes still persisting and even more importantly feeling a real sense of benefit.

Mindfulness, getting ready

This course of learning over 8 weeks starts with a taster (literally) event to prepare you for the future work. It all starts with a meditation exercise requiring chocolate. Now its not something I really ever buy so last night at Paddington following a long day I quickly purchased a bar . I settled into my seat on the 20:15 to Swansea and read some more of the Mindfulness book.
Now I am no stranger to commuter etiquette but I did feel a bit strange sniffing and admiring the chocolate before I ate it!
Fortunately I was ( I hope ) discreet and undertook the exercise.
All I will say is that the process of noticing the various flavours as it dissolved on my tongue made this the most enjoyable chocolate bar I have ever eaten.
I think I learnt the process of being in the moment and savouring an experience rather than rushing onto the next event or idea or even task allowing myself to truly engage with the experience.
I look forward to going forward and savouring not just a raisin (all will become clear) but also anticipating an ability to notice rather than engage (especially with those pesky intrusive thoughts)